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As a child, did you ever dream about what you wanted to be when you grew up?

I did all the time. I wanted to be an emergency room doctor, a firefighter, a paramedic, an astronaut, a writer, an archaeologist, and so many other things. The main thing I dreamt of, though, was making a difference and doing something meaningful with my life. I wanted to help people, do something important, and be someone.

I didn’t think much of that feeling when I was younger, but now that I’m in my mid-30s and still feel that way, I know it’s something that needs exploring. That feeling is what has driven me to where I am today. It’s what has been driving me my whole life, whether I realized it or not. That want to be something more, to help, and to live with purpose is why I quit my job and decided to start over at 34.

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I’m getting ahead of myself, though; I’ll cover that in another blog. Let me pause and introduce myself first.

Hi, I’m Allie, founder of Coutts Creations, photographer, and creative. I grew up in rural Nebraska surrounded by corn and cows for as far as the eye could see. I spent my childhood running through pastures, playing pirates with cow rib swords, and collecting rocks on long walks down dirt roads. I knew early on in my childhood that I wanted something more and that I had to get out of Nebraska if I was going to find it.

I grew up pretty poor. My father was a farmer, and my mother was unable to work because of health issues. My siblings and I, there were five kids total, all took up farming to help out. I was eight years old when I started working on the farm. Our paychecks went to food, gas, and at the end of the summer, a huge shopping trip at the closest thrift store 3 hours away.

I understood the value of hard work and money at a very young age, and it has served me well throughout my life. I put myself through college, sometimes working four jobs at one time, I was on the Dean’s list, and played sports. I became an archaeologist because I dreaded the idea of having a “normal” 9-5 job in an office. I climbed the federal employee ladder starting at a GS-5 and, in seven years, made it to a GS-12.

I was obsessed with perfection, but fear is what drove me. Fear of failure, fear of being myself, fear of letting go. I didn’t realize this was the case until last year, in the summer of 2019. That was when I finally decided to be Allie and to stop living in fear.
To stop dreaming it and to be it.

Dream. Discover. Explore

Allie

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